Tear you appart
by NinjaxOfxThexNight
Summary: Ritsuka is feeling a little bit confused. After he told Soubi he didn't love him he tries to make a move on the one he really loves, and does he have a secret admirer who is in denial about his feelings? Not SoubiRitsuka! Please R&R! :D


A/N: UGHHH! I'm so sick of the Soubi/Ritsuka pairing!!! I've read WAY too much of that and I didn't ever really care 4 that pairing…so I made something a bit different!!! I made this fanfic while listening to the song Tear You Apart by She Wants Revenge and some of the lines are really similar to the verses in the song so I give full credit to that band! Yessss read to find out who Ritsuka is paired with! ;D (if the eye colors r not right just ignore it because apparently I'm like color blind to that kind of stuff)

(there r some side pairings too!!!!)

Not a one-shot! I'll try to get another chapter posted if anyone wants me to do so.

Disclaimer: I do not own loveless...if I did then it would have like 50 episodes so everyone could keep watching it!!

Tear you apart

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Ritsuka stood in the rain letting it drench his navy blue jacket and pool in shimmering little drops at the tips of his messy black hair, plastered to his head.

The pouring rain slid down his pale face, merging with the salty tears.

She had beaten him earlier that evening. She had made him feel like dirt as she screamed in her insane rampage of ripping apart the house and Ritsuka.

Now dark blood slithered down his leg like a vermillion snake seeking the cool ground.

It pooled at his feet and dripped from the open wound on his stomach and leg.

The only good thing about the down pour was how it covered the thick trails of tears running down his cheeks.

"Ritsuka," Soubi's voice startled the neko, lost in his own world of depression.

Unconsciously Ritsuka tensed and delicately gripped the large throbbing welt beneath his jacket which was slowly being consumed by blood from the open wound.

His mom had attacked him, claiming he was not her Ritsuka, not the Ritsuka from two years ago before Seimei died.

Ritsuka's ears drooped instead of their normal upright position. The thin tail that protruding from his lower back swished back and forth solemnly, flicking drops of water side to side.

He always felt so helpless when his mom was beating him. She was asking him for something he could not give her, someone he could not bring back.

"Ritsuka," Soubi put a hand on Ritsuka's trembling shoulder. He was trying so hard to keep it in but finally a sob wracked his body. He needed to be alone. Soubi could not help him with this; he just needed to be alone.

Without another thought Ritsuka took off running down the deserted street. His feet pushed off the ground and launched him farther and farther away from Soubi.

He ran past the school, past the park where Soubi and Ritsuka had shared their first kiss while creating memories.

Ritsuka was convinced Soubi could not help him with the pain in his fragile heart that seemed to be melting away with the rain.

He was so cold.

Consumed by hate and fear.

Hate towards himself, and fear of fading away in the pouring rain. Fading away in the crowd of students at school. Never noticed or comforted when his mom lost her temper.

"Seimei" The words passed through the child's lips like a ghost whispering in the night behind the shadowed curtain of darkness.

More tears ran down Ritsuka's pallid face and hit the ground along with the other raindrops pitter pattering against the tar, and were left behind as Ritsuka continued to run.

Though his frantic breathing had turned to a wheezing he kept running. Running as fast as he could, focusing on the sound of his feet hitting the ground with each step, just trying to forget the pain welling up in his chest as fatigue overwhelmed him and his heart threatened to shatter.

No matter how fast he ran he could still hear the footsteps of the older blond not far behind him.

Those soft locks of ebony swayed back and forth, weighted down with the chili water, and the tangled mess of hair hung over his eyes darkly shading them from the world.

Maybe if he ran far enough he could escape his misery. Escape the hell he lived in. Hot tears blurred his vision as he ran under the street lamps that sent dim beams of light over the street cutting through the night like a dull razor blade.

The immense pain in his chest made him wheeze and grunt for air but he just had this funny feeling like he just new something bad was going to happen if he stopped running.

But now as he passed the last streetlamp he could not keep going. Falling to his knees he grabbed his stomach and wretched dryly. He had skipped dinner so all he managed to bring up was water and spit. His body heaved and wracked as his body shook with spasms.

He couldn't even keep on his knees. He collapsed forward and nearly lost consciousness. He lay face down on the dirt.

Ritsuka felt so inferior to everyone. It almost seemed like if he didn't get up he would soak into the ground and never be seen again.

It might even be better that way.

Soubi's worry rolled off of him in almost tangible waves as he watched Ritsuka collapse to his knees, vomit, and then fall face first into the tar. If his long legs could take him the speed of light he would have made them go even faster.

The material covering his knees tore as he slid to a stop next to the panting boy and dropped to his knees. He didn't even feel anything though.

His body had gone numb the moment he saw Ritsuka hit the ground.

Soubi gently slid his hand under Ritsuka and turned him over, careful not to do any harm to the already injured boy. Part of his jacket was soaked in warm blood and dripping onto the cement.

Soubi hummed in anxiousness.

Ritsuka seemed to be having trouble breathing but that could have just been from the running.

Retching into his pocket Soubi groped for his cell phone before he remembered running out of the house in a hurry without it. Kio had been sprinting out the door after him, waving his arms frantically above his head, with the cell phone in his hand, but Soubi had been in too much of a rush to go back and get it.

Kicking himself in the butt, Soubi wished he could call an ambulance, but it looked like he would have to walk to the hospital with Ritsuka in his arms.

Of course he didn't mind being so close to the boy.

Just as Soubi slid his arms completely under the boy, Ritsuka seemed to catch his breath and began to roll over, shying away from Soubi's caring touch.

"Ritsuka, be still, I need to take you to a hospital," But Soubi's demand was ignored and even with the wounds he burdened and his fatigue, Ritsuka pulled his heavy body to its feet and stumbled forward still trying to get away, and be alone.

Soubi was baffled. He had not one idea why Ritsuka was trying so hard to stay away from him.

It looked like Ritsuka was going to fall back down with every weak step he took. Soubi reached out to catch Ritsuka, but Ritsuka caught himself and just pushed Soubi's hands away like they were disgusting.

Tears were still brimming in Ritsuka's eyes. Soubi made another attempt to stop Ritsuka from going any further and hurting himself more. "Please, Ritsuka, you have to let me help you. I love you," Soubi cried as he watched his love stumble once again.

Ever since Soubi had laid his eyes on Ritsuka he new they had a connection that was more powerful than any fighter and sacrifice would ever have. He knew Ritsuka was young and innocent but he couldn't keep those dirty thoughts from entering his open mind.

Either way he wanted Ritsuka and this was bad, wanted to do things to him, it was making him crazy. The little crush he had first had on Ritsuka had turned to a burning passion. He just wanted to grab Ritsuka by his thick black hair and tell him how much he wanted him, wanted his body.

That seemed to push Ritsuka over the edge. Those three words seem to rip his heart apart. 'I love you'

How could Soubi confess his love for Ritsuka so easily and actually mean it? Ritsuka ripped his arm from the older man's gentle gripped and whipped around, fire in his eyes. His small hands were clenched into fists, his knuckles were white.

Something had finally snapped. Soubi had never seen that kind of look on Ritsuka's face. IT looked like a completely different soul had entered Ritsuka's battered body.

"How can you keep telling me that when you don't even mean it?!" It looked like the smaller boy was going to attack Soubi but he held it back. Ritsuka just had to get away from there before he told Soubi anything else. Just about to turn and run Ritsuka threw the four worst words he could over his shoulder at the blond who was still on his knees in shock.

"I DON'T love you," Ritsuka shouted before sprinting off into the night, leaving Soubi in his dust, rain pouring over him.

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Ritsuka woke in his bed; the covers were crinkled all around him in a messy nest of sheets. At first he just closed his eyes letting his purple pupils be consumed by darkness once more but the persistent sun shone through his window and teased his closed eyes with a dim yellow glow.

Ritsuka sighed and rolled over onto his back. He was still sore from the other day and the welt on his side was throbbing as though an invisible knife was stabbing his side with each of his heart beats.

The pain would have kept him awake if not for his overwhelming exhaustion from running through the streets with Soubi not far behind him.

"Soubi…" Ritsuka mumbled. The words he had said came back to him in a flash of regret. Those heart shattering words still rang in his ears.

'I don't love you'

How could he be so cold hearted? He felt like crying but it seemed like he had went dry from all the tears he had shed the night before.

It was still terribly gray out side but the clouds had subsided their release of water over the land, and now the sun was peeking through the clouds and through the window into Ritsuka's bedroom.

Pushing his slender form off of the bed he yawned. He had to get ready to school; he didn't want to be late.

He just couldn't clear his head. Soubi seemed so devastated when he had told him the truth. But the older man had to understand, he was not gay, completely straight, and would never fall in love with someone that much older than him.

Ritsuka's ears popped back up as the navy blue shirt slid over his head and covered his injured side. The wound would heal up pretty quickly like the rest of them, but each time his mother beat him a new emotional scar would form and cut into the back of his mind until the wound was permanent and drilled him to the ground each and every minute of the day.

Ritsuka had enough on his mind let alone the guilt that plagued his thoughts. But maybe it was better if Soubi had found out before, instead of finding out a more difficult way.

If Soubi had found him giving affection to the one he was really in love with he probably would be even more hurt than he was now.

Not only would he not have the love from his sacrifice, but he would also have the betrayal of Ritsuka not telling him the truth sooner.

Ritsuka seemed to let out a breath he had been holding in for weeks. Is hissed out of him like the air deflating from a decrepit old tire that had been under a car for much too long.

He had to tell her about his feelings someday. She was so naive and cute at the same time. Her bright smile always lightened a tense moment and cheered him up. It was the times he was around her where he could almost feel the scars in the back of his head healing like some magic potion was touching them.

Just thinking about her made him woozy inside.

A warm smile was playing on his usually pursed lips and a healthy rose color had flushed his cheeks.

When Ritsuka looked up at the clock he gasped. He was definitely going to be late for class.

Grabbing his school bag he rushed out the door and headed toward the school.

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"Ritsuka-kun" Yoiko's voice startled him. He had not seen her approaching his desk.

Her floppy pink tail wagged behind her cutely and she flashed him a warm smile. The long strands of hair framing her face swayed back and forth as her ears swiveled into an upright position showing her excitement.

"I'm so happy you're here, I thought you were going to miss school since you came in late," Yoiko almost looked upset, but then her lips parted and she smiled enthusiastically. "Oho" Yoiko's laugh and smile was enough to make the most senile annoying old man bight his tongue.(1)

Ritsuka also smiled, a little uncomfortably and let out a small 'heh.'

Meanwhile in the back of the classroom Yayoi sat at his desk fuming. His arms were crossed and his ears were drawn back. The black combed bangs cast shadows over his eyes, hiding them from the view of others.

'Why did Yoiko have to fall for that geek, Ritsuka,' devilish thoughts passed through Yayoi's head as he listened to Yoiko and Ritsuka laughing and having a good time. Yayoi let himself take one hateful glance at Ritsuka before turning towards the front of the class room once more.

The class had ended a couple minutes before and students were slowly filtering out and leaving the school, but Yayoi just stayed put.

If you looked hard enough you could almost see the gray cloud hanging over his head, thundering and lightning, while the angry boy grumbled and cursed to himself.

So caught up in his thoughts he didn't even notice Yoiko and Ritsuka come up behind him.

"Yayoi-kun, what's the matter?" Almost falling out of his seat, Yayoi just caught himself before the chair tipped over backwards. Whipping around to face the person who had startled him so much, Yayoi was ready to explode until he saw Yuiko's quizzical expression, her head slightly cocked to the side.

She looked so adorable! Yayoi turned back around as fast as he could mopping up the blood slowly trickling from his nose. A huge blush covered his face. He was redder than a ripe cherry.

"Yeah you look worse than usual," Ritsuka said nonchalantly. He was so cool!

That was one of the reasons Yayoi hated Ritsuka. He kept telling himself how stupid Ritsuka was and how Ritsuka was such a geek, but really he hated Ritsuka because of how cool he was. He had to hate Ritsuka, he was stealing his woman from him!

But each time Yayoi looked at Ritsuka's bored face he couldn't help but get a feeling deep down in the pit of his stomach. He knew the feeling. He got it whenever he heard Yoiko laugh or looked at her cheerful face while she was greeting him.

Maybe Yayoi did hate Ritsuka, or maybe this was different. At first what he thought was a deep hatred, was really a crush and the crush had turned to a like.

No matter how much he knew he liked Ritsuka he kept telling himself how much he hated the kid. Yayoi was in denial, and would never be ready to admit to himself the truth.

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(1) That was form the song Cupids Chokehold if any of you noticed:D just sos ya no

A/N: I know I know I am not a very good writer and I suck at spelling, so if you are going to review mind not flaming me too bad? Constructive criticisms is always helpful but go easy on me k :D Thanks 4 reading much appreciated! O boy that was fun to write! And whenever I got ready to write this I would play the song Tear you apart to prompt me :3


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